Where to get relationship advice

We live in a world where we have access to constant information and opinions. So predictably, when we are faced with issues, especially in relationships, we tend to look outward for answers. Even without the internet and social media, we are surrounded by people in our lives constantly telling us what we should and shouldn’t do. That is not necessarily negative; intervention from the people around you can, in many cases, save your life and help you see toxic behavior where you are blind. There is, however, a nuance in how much of this is actually beneficial. I think there should be a balance between listening to yourself and listening to others, and the tricky part is that most people don’t even know how to do the former properly. Time has become a privilege, and it takes time to listen to yourself and trust your gut in relationships.

So, you had a great first date, but he takes two days to respond. Anxious and distressed, you go on TikTok and search: signs he isn’t into you. And there we go, “not responding promptly” is on the list. You scroll down; the next one is a famous influencer saying how the love of her life also didn’t respond promptly at the beginning because he was having issues with Wi-Fi. You learn that this can be circumstantial.

Still unsure (you really liked him), you ask your two best friends. The blunt one says: “Dump him; if he wanted to, he would.” The soft-spoken one says, “Maybe he is scared of how much he likes you.” So now you’re confused. Whether you cut him off or not does not matter; what matters is that not once did you check in with yourself. Not once did you ask yourself: “Is prompt responding a value of mine? How does it make me feel? Is this important to me?” And I don’t blame you. Even nowadays, a woman who listens to her own intuition is controversial. We are not taught to develop a relationship with ourselves. We are taught to center our lives around others, and when we do not, when we are introspective, we are called selfish.

But the beauty of developing your self-relationship is that you will hopefully transform your relationships, not to be surrounded by people who think this way, but by people who love and accept you. And let me tell you something, this playbook or rulebook you’re looking for is made up. It is only a projection of other people’s values, which may or may not align with yours. Your blunt friend values action; your soft-spoken friend values giving people the benefit of the doubt. There is no ‘right’ advice; the point is that you are outsourcing your values rather than deciding your own path.

You might not know your values or how to implement them in relationships. The way you relate to yourself spreads into how you relate to others. If you ignore or neglect your self-relationship, the relationships in your life will confuse you, leading you to outsource advice.

What I am offering in my relationship coaching is a way to reignite the relationship you have with yourself, know every single detail about your needs and desires, and then implement that in your relationships. You would not need to constantly outsource advice, since you will usually have the answer yourself. This is extremely beneficial in busy times, especially in fast-paced cities like Dubai, where you can dedicate an hour a week to listening to what you have to say. You won't need sets of rules imposed by others; you can finally create your own dating playbook.